So Let's Play Make Believe :]

2012-03-02T01:36:00.001Z

2012-02-21T14:08:00.001Z

when did I start procrastinating again >< probably about the same time things went back to 'normal'. I remember the first month I was back here, I spent all my weekends and free time doing work. and now, I guess it feels like exams have only just ended. and I haven't yet grasped the fact that the break between sem1 and sem2 is over. need to get back into nerd mode!

somebody buy me a leica <3

brownies, when made well, are quite possibly the best things on earth. happy pancake day!

"fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely"

must remember not to settle. note to self : never again.

2012-02-16T22:13:00.004Z

strange how these days, it's no longer about falling in love. it's more about falling in love with the idea of love. how people don't necessarily like the other, they just like the idea of liking the person. and so they try so hard to make themselves like the person. and then there are all these messy things. nobody's really in a relationship anymore. everyone's all.. neither here nor there. it's like we've all found the easy way out of things; staying in the middle. someone who'll entertain all your whims and caprices. someone you can bitch about everyone else to. someone to give you opinions on things in life. someone who'll (kinda) be there any time of the day for you. yet both parties refuse to participate any more than that. no commitments, no expectations, no disappointments. the perfect relationship, if you can even call it that. like you can't have all the benefits of a proper relationship, but at the same time you don't have to put in as much effort either. win-win situation! I've been seeing too many of these lately. and then you watch chick flicks, especially the really old ones. and it makes you wonder, what went wrong in people along the way. how did they suddenly get so.. smart. and sure, it's easier. but is it real?

opportunities come by, and it's something you want. something you've been wanting for awhile now. but now that it's right here in front of you, you're not so sure. I'm not so sure. realisations always bring about the most confusion.

2012-02-14T00:20:00.003Z

always comes a time when you've held up your pride for too long. you've held all those unsaid feelings and fears in. and you go all out to give it one last shot before letting go for good. that way you know you did all that you could. you know you tried. whether or not you wanted it. there's only one way to find out. cause you regret what you didn't do more than what you did. but then again, there's only so much you can do. but at least, you know you tried. and you know that's more than you can say for others.

cause who's to know which one you let go would've made you complete.

happy valentine's day, you guiseeee! today's gonna be a good day :)

I'm coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith.

and that soft landing is never guaranteed.

"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does."
-Peter McWilliams

2012-02-12T18:03:00.000Z

vulnerability is a bitch. putting your happiness in someone else's hands is idiocy.

it's all quite mixed at the moment. a little bit of this and a little bit of that. but I guess even if I am lost, it'll only be for a little while.

"give me reason but don't give me choice.

cause I'll make the same mistake again."

2012-02-12T00:46:00.004Z

who knew deep conversations on the train could end up meaning so much. harsh realisations and reflecting on observations made which then make you wonder if it's time for a whole new you. maybe old habits need to be gotten rid of. looking out the window as things blur past, I start to question what I thought I knew. and maybe, just maybe, there are different ways of looking at things. all about perspective.

but then again, to each their own?

fluctuations. one minute you think you know it all. and the next, you're not so sure. cause sometimes the best things in life aren't really the best for you.

"but always know, always know. that I love you so. I love you so."

2012-02-10T13:59:00.000Z

2012-02-07T22:29:00.004Z

this year, I will :

worry less

take risks

make lots of mistakes

learn from them

love my cameras

be a good daughter, sister, friend

or whatever else life calls me to be

get a job

draw more

listen to good music

find answers

get motivated

love fiercely

breathe

make more mistakes

live fearlessly

holding out for a hero.

2012-02-01T23:41:00.005Z

first pharmacology lecture this term and already I'm mind boggled. help.

funny how something can be the best yet worst thing at the same time. funny how you know what's going on but you choose to believe otherwise. funny how you see through those lies but choose to delude yourself anyway. funny how you know better than to keep listening to your heart. funny how you don't even want this yet you can't seem to dissociate. isn't it funny? like deja vu.

maaaaassive lunch this afternoon. we need to stop over-ordering, which is what we say every single time but time and time again, we over-order..

also, need to stop playing cod, I think I'm mentally allergic to it. so nauseated atm. maybe it's my brain's way of warning me so I don't end up a scumbag gamer. especially now that lectures have started and work and assignments have been given.

spontaneity is so attractive ;) so are pretty eyes and proper long names and well defined eyebrows and.. I could go on forever.

valentine's day's coming up :)))

2012-02-01T23:39:00.002Z

and maybe,

you're gonna be the one that saves me.

2012-02-01T00:12:00.001Z

2012-01-30T13:40:00.000Z

have come to realise that.. while I can be selfish, I really love going out of my way to do things for people. certain people. most of the time, people who do not deserve.

so when exams ended, I started to wonder if maybe.. I wished they hadn't. suddenly I'm reminded of how dead and unhappening this godforsaken place is. and how little there is to do here. and I can't seem to remember what I used to do before studying 24/7. funny how when you've got to revise and mug, there are so many things you want/have to do. and almost look forward to doing, even. but as soon as exams are over, you can't be bothered to do any of them. for me, I even had to make a list of the things I wanted to do after I got studying out of the way. I'm proud to say I've done some. but many remain undone.. also, sucks to know that my 'break' is over. sem 2 starts tomorrow and pharmacology projects have already been given out. sucha dragggg.

on a much brighter note, I am thankful that I have good friends. some more than others. I'm glad I've found people who will do almost whatever whenever for me. and will put up with my random sporadic behaviour and short attention span. and I'm glad I've found people who I can do the same for. whatever, whenever. you name it. I'm also thankful that my heart is coming to terms with what it should've felt months ago. though not quite 100% just yet. but soon. I have faith in myself.

keep getting motion sickness from sitting still on the couch.. playing cod.

craving snowflake desserts. or snowman. whichever. funny how the names are so similar but the desserts aren't. though, yummy thai food tonight! :D can't wait.

first month of 2012 is almost over, can you believe it? I feel like I still double take at the sight of 2012 when I see it. yet 1/12 of it is over. I sense an amazing year ahead ;)

2012-01-20T14:54:00.000Z

2012-01-18T11:28:00.002Z

for too many reasons, I just can't wait to get out of here.

2012-01-17T11:30:00.000Z

like you would if this was a movie

2012-01-16T10:34:00.002Z

fast pain travels through A-delta fibres on dorsal horn and synapse with dendrites of neospinothalamic tract. axons then travel up the spine and cross midline through the anterior white commissure passing upwards in the contralateral anterolateral columns. fibres terminate on the ventrobasal complex of thalamus and synapse with dendrites of the somatosensory cortex.

my doom awaits me..

2012-01-12T20:58:00.002Z

don't you dare look out your window darling

everything's on fire

the war outside our door keeps raging on

hold on to this lullaby

even when the music's gone

just close your eyes, the sun is going down

you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

come morning light, you and I'll be

safe & sound

2012-01-12T17:01:00.003Z

what little will I had to study flew out of the window approximately five hours ago and in these five hours, much thinking (and eating) has been done. I must say, this would be so much easier had plans not been made. and if exams weren't around the corner.

again, I remind myself that many things in life are unnecessary, insignificant and undeserving.

I don't think I've ever been so unprepared in my life :/ #examstress or rather.. the lack of it.

deep conversations in the kitchen end up meaning the most at the end of the day.

2012-01-12T10:06:00.003Z

and people will bring you down, but not for long ;)

2012-01-12T09:53:00.000Z

start something that matters

reinforce the fact that family > friends

mend broken ties

keep sight of the bigger picture

study my ass off (next exam, this one's pretty screwed ><)

less impulsive and compulsive shopping

eat healthy

leave nothing till the last minute

I wouldn't call them resolutions per se. cause I wouldn't want to make promises I can't keep. but let's just say a little wishful thinking never hurt anybody ;)

2012-01-09T15:11:00.000Z

drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain

cause I see sparks fly

whenever you smile

2012-01-03T16:30:00.002Z

nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy. remember that.

2011-12-28T10:24:00.000Z

and I still have the biggest smile when I'm with you

2011-12-27T11:15:00.000Z

<33333

2011-12-26T14:28:00.002Z

seems like there's always someone who disapproves

they'll judge it like they know about me and you

and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do

the jury's out, but my choice is you.

2011-12-25T04:44:00.000Z

2011-12-25T04:42:00.001Z

Merry Christmas you guise! :)))))

my feet are aching from too much heel but I'm a happy happy girl :) nights spent driving around with the windows down, wind in our faces, music blasting and singing at the top of our lungs without a worry in the world. they say summer nights are the most memorable. I beg to differ ;)

8am present opening session as per usual tomorrow morning :) or rather later. I love how the whole family's home. it's been too long. it's something I grew up with and, in a way, took advantage of. I guess it's true you never realise how much something means to you until you lose it. but for years, we were never all home all at once. the brothers would have different holidays and different plans. and now, me in england, makes things even harder. but christmas is the one definite time we all come home. christmas means family time and I wouldn't have it any other way :)

kay sleepy. fake eyelashes make me sleepy, idk why. g'night you guise! have yourself a merry little christmas! :))))

2011-12-14T01:11:00.003Z

it's really quite inexplicably amazing what christmas does to me. makes me the most light-hearted person in the world. me, the pessimist/cynic/realist/emo child/younameit. I guess there's something about christmas that's just so hopeful. like anything's possible. that warm fuzzy feeling christmas carols give you. actually, I bet this whole blithe-like feeling is because of these carols. I always wonder if there's anyone out there who can actually hate christmas carols. so soothing, so peaceful, so merry, so constant all along. then I reckon it's just cause for as long as I can remember, christmas time meant christmas carols playing throughout my house all day everyday. so much so that even when I'm away from home, walking into shops playing these very same songs brings about so much familiarity and a nice homely feel. and everyone who doesn't celebrate/appreciate christmas is just missing out #inmyopinion #justsaying :P

mum and I were contemplating whether or not to put up the tree this year, cause it's two weeks to christmas therefore would the effort be justified? I'd say HELL YEAH.

I think, quite possibly, christmas is the only thing I look forward to all year every year.

bangkok this weekend :D yummy authentic thai food, here I come!

2011-12-11T19:17:00.003Z

the existence of my blog almost slipped my mind :P

3.30am and I'm surprisingly jet lagged. surprisingly cause I've only had approximately 2 hours of sleep in the past 24 hours. and surprisingly cause just half an hour ago I was dozing off trying to finish my protein review article.

but hello december, albeit quite overdue.

here's to a month of lights, snow and feast. time to make amends and tie loose ends. finish off what you started and hope all your wishes come true ;)

2011-11-25T22:12:00.005Z

brussels this weekend! or rather, in a few hours ;) gonna be epic :) though, before that, have an essay to finish that's not writing itself.. DNA replication and PCR, sigh. and omgsh, today's the 25th. that means exactly a month till christmas! :D cannot wait!

and here comes the feeling you thought you'd forgotten. it's quite amazing how the genre of songs you listen to can affect your mood so greatly. maybe I'm just too easily influenced :P also, I realise over and over again you became more than you were ever supposed to be. but there's no turning back now. *cue POTO's past the point of no return* thing I don't get is how some say life's too short to worry, to just go with what makes you happy. but then again, when you act on such impulse, you tend to realise, life's not thaaat short.. -.- in fact, it's not short enough.

okay, must finish essay now so I can cod for a bit before leaving :P how am I gonna survive this weekend with no cod! heck, how am I gonna survive A MONTH back home without cod?! I foresee withdrawal symptoms awaiting me. this thought just occurred to me hours ago. as I was prancing about in town getting all excited that I'll be home in two weeks. to think, of all things, lack of cod was the first thing I dreaded about going home.. #addict. BROTHERS, I NOW GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO BUY THE HOUSE A PS3 REGARDLESS OF WHAT MOTHER'S BEEN SAYING ALL THESE YEARS.

cod or not, can't wait to go home :)))))))

2011-11-21T14:43:00.007Z

so much hype going on now cause people's magazine announced Bradley Cooper as sexiest man alive and Ryan Gosling as runner up. Bradley, you just got yourself a whole lot of haters.

"He is definitely one of the best looking men on the planet today. If you’ve seen Crazy Stupid Love or Drive, then you know what I’m talking about. Great hair. Ripped Bod. Well-groomed. Wow."

my tumblr dashboard is flooded with people reblogging Ryan Gosling posts and photos. but hey, I'm not complaining ;) and gosh, the dude SINGS. musical guys will always get extra brownie points ;) and he's good looking. and he's got a photoshop-ed body. how can someone be so flawless! :P

still really x94723784 liked the rachelxryan combo though. they seemed so meant for each other. super cute!

"God bless The Notebook, it introduced me to one of the greatest loves of my life. But people do Rachel and me a disservice by assuming we were anything like the people in that movie. Rachel and my love story is a hell of a lot more romantic than that."

asdjalksdjalsjdaksjd *SWOOOOON*

yea, cause The Notebook isn't already the ULTIMATE romantic movie/chick flick of all time right.. such a cheese! :} I feel me melting already.

2011-11-15T18:34:00.004Z

"I don't know what she sees in me but I do know I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

"I think we should go into town."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you should get dressed. We should take a drive, get some lunch and get to know each other."

"Really? Why?"

"Cause I'm running out of reasons why we shouldn't."

"Why am I attracted to a person I know isn't good?"

"I happen to know the answer to this. You're hoping you're wrong. He does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. Every time he comes through and surprises you, he wins you over. And you lose that argument with yourself that he's not for you."

"Exactly."

"It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over every detail. And wondering what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. "

I'll always be a sucker for chick flicks :')

2011-11-14T13:37:00.000Z

going through my old photos makes me feel like we're the best of friends. and then I take a break, look away and realise so much has changed in so little time.

I guess for me, one of the hardest things to come to terms with is knowing things will never quite be like they used to be. maybe it's knowing that no matter what you do, things will never be the same. that sense of being powerless. like life's events are out of your control. that it's really not up to you. familiarity will always be my weakness.

my music taste is slowly regressing back to its initial form; slow stuff. with the cute lyrics and endless possibilities. since when am I such an optimist?! gotta hate those hopeful feelings chick flicks give you.

also, lying in bed last night. I realised how much of an extremist I am.

moderation, what's that? :P

finish what you started. yeah.

2011-11-13T23:40:00.003Z

FINISHED WORK FINALLY *fist pump* here's to a very productive sunday :D managed to finish off my biochem and pharmaco write ups that I've been putting off for days >< well I started them days ago (at least) but just got a bit lazy towards the end and left it for a 'tomorrow' which never came. till today! and just done with my presentation for 9am tomorrow! even though it's quite late >< and I haven't been this last minute for weeks so I certainly didn't handle the last minute pressure very well :/ though, in my defence, I would have finished earlier had leon not bugged me to cod with him.. but let's not play blaming games now shall we.

it has come to our attention that the rate at which my housemates and I use up the kitchen towel is quite alarming. it's like someone's EATING it.

die, post-transcriptional RNA modification. DIE.

when in doubt, eat some ice cream.

or a whole lot of it..

seriously cannot wait to go home. get me out of this godforsaken place!

2011-11-13T21:41:00.001Z

took a 40-minute shower today :P twas quite good.

#gottalovesundays

2011-11-13T21:38:00.000Z

2011-11-12T15:18:00.004Z

7 billion fearless people in the world and I got stuck with you.

so unmotivated to do work today >< I think it's cause I've put it off for a few days. should probably go back to doing work the minute I get home and get it over with while it's still fresh in my brain. SIGH. doesn't feel like a Saturday :/ and what's keeping me going is knowing I'll be home in less than a month! :D

11:11, I made it count :)

2011-11-08T23:29:00.000Z

have faith. restart.

2011-11-08T19:30:00.002Z

just wrote paragraph of nonsensical rubbish about why my EC50 value of acetylcholine doesn't tally with the literature value >< I'm not even gonna re-read it. felt like I was writing a fictional story book. can't seem to do any work tonight. or rather, work of much quality. SIGH. detest pharmacologyyyy.

I'm learning to not see the worst in people :P and to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. and I guess it's true that the only way to find out if someone is worth your trust is by trusting them. maybe people don't always mean the worst. maybe, just maybe, there is good in everyone after all :) ..or not :P

am semi-bummed at how 11/11/11 plans turned out to be an epic failure. thinking about it, why didn't I plan something earlier! I mean I've only been anticipating this day for the past three years (or so).. -.- I blame uni and its massive workload. and also how dead boring and so.. _____ (what is antonymous to outgoing? yea, that -.- ) everyone is here. sometimes I think I'm such a no lifer over here. and then I realise, it's cause everyone around me is so disgustingly lifeless and they do nothing to overcome this lack of life they suffer. where are the fun outgoing peeps! the spontaneous impulsive fun ones! the ones who actually get on trains and do things and not sit at home all day. ajdlkasjdalkdjasldjakldjaklsdjakljda this is turning into a semi-rant post >< but really, how do these people cope with being so dull! okay okay, rant officially over.. now. well, at the very least, I should start thinking about my going-to-be-the-most-epic wish for 11:11. and no one better talk to me/distract me at 11:11 or YOU WILL DIE. heh. I'm harmless, I swear.

in an attempt to cheer myself up, I shall remind myself that tomorrow is wednesday, YAY. one of the few days I get to sleep in. bliss.

2011-11-06T18:44:00.010Z

12-page long neuroscience write up, you have stolen a few of my nights and the whole of my sunday but at last, you are complete. and to the demonstrator who said neuroscience write ups shouldn't be more than 4-5 pages, GO DIE YOU. officially brain dead now. and am feeling like a vegetable, as explained in the previous post. the after-effect of all year 2 write ups which is oh so familiar to me by now, SIGH.

now to start on my pharmacology write up.. -.- but before that, brain needs a break. some telly perhaps!

kinda seems like this academic year flew by. its already (almost) week 6! how did that happen! last year seemed to drag out so much longer. I guess it's partially due to the housemates this year in comparison with last year's flatmates. and the things we do that kinda while away our time and before we know it, BAM. six weeks have passed. speaking of housematey matters, we're going to have a picnic this wednesday! in the cold >< but we figured, it's now or ~~never~~ march next year! and it's only going to get colder so better now than later on!

note to self : must learn to say 'no' without being biased.

the more time I spend with leon, the more immune I am to avril. which reminds me of the time in my life when I used to really like her :x a memory which I'm not too proud about. but hey, every girl wanted to be a punk rock princess at some point in their childhood/teenagehood. the only difference is that most of us grew out of it (hinthint, avril. you're 27, I think it's about time you did too). anyway, the reason it's avril is simply because avril > heavy metal. she seems to be the only singer we both agree on (note : albeit only remotely so in my case..) cause no, leon doesn't listen to anything remotely club-like or the 'slow stuff'. so after weeks of this, I'm starting to get desensitised. I actually KNOW her songs now, believe it or not. not by heart, definitely. but more than I want to..

but I guess when songs relate, they don't necessarily have to be nice.

ooh, went for a malaysian soc party thing today. initially, we just went to steal some authentic malaysian food for two pounds. not exactly stealing, but for two pounds?! can't even find in malaysia! :P anyway turned out to be a lot more fun than expected. food was quite epic. really, I wasn't expecting much out of it but wow. for someone who doesn't like rendang/curry/the likes, their rendang was good. ended up joining the society. and denny's planning to migrate heh heh. for a society of 200+ members, they were really organised. but highlight of it all is : GOOD FOOD. now I really can't wait to go home in december!

okay gonna continue watching tv then back to work! #nolifer

2011-11-04T19:47:00.001Z

HOLGA, yes? somehow holgas don't look as good in real life. look rather cheap but I guess that gives it the toy feel. probably diana mini first before a holga. though, at this rate, probably none at all :P

I gotta say, year 2 has been quite good thus far *touch wood*. despite the 9am lectures, disgusting weather, crappy lecturers, long hours in the lab (TWICE a week) and write ups that follow, retardedly far lecture theatres, ridiculous deadlines and almost-impossible-to-understand module content, I think it's been pretty good! :P though write ups literally kill my brain cells. each one takes up hours and hours of my time and leave me feeling mentally exhausted when I'm done. or rather, before I'm done. to the point of not even finishing the last quarter of it properly. no idea what my fingers are typing and if it's even remotely coherent but can't really be bothered enough to care at that point. three quarter way through I feel like a vegetable. it's like my brain is throwing a tantrum up there and simply refuses to cooperate. sometimes I hear a little voice in my head screaming "ENOUGH!" :P but all in all, those weekends (every weekend -.-) spent at home sitting at my laptop working on my write ups with absolutely zero social life (or rather, no life at all) have kinda paid off :) though, I've got to admit it is quite lifeless to spend my saturdays waking up, working, lunch break, continue working, dinner break, back to work till 2/3am then off to bed. and the cycle repeats itself the next morning. coursemates keep telling me I need to go out more and stop being so asian. every friday : "so what're your plans for the weekend?" "um.. gonna do my write ups?" *watch as they give me wtf looks* and the same scenario repeats itself every week without fail. SIGH. but the feeling when you get your work back with positive feedback written all over and something scribbled so beautifully under 'final mark', it's quite inexplicable. and kinda makes it all worth it :)

2011-11-03T03:01:00.003Z

"You're always so scared. Loosen up and live a little. Take a risk, life just might surprise you. It's so sad what people do to themselves cause they're afraid."

2011-11-02T17:10:00.004Z

indoor picnics with the housemates. of chocolate chip cookies, rice crispies, strawberry milk nougat and scary ghost stories. the rain won't bring us down :)

2011-10-30T22:29:00.002Z

we found love in a hopeless place

2011-10-30T22:23:00.000Z

2011-10-30T20:27:00.006Z

my weekend just flew by.. :/ like really, where did it all go. tomorrow's monday already >< on the bright side, monday's the only weekday I don't have morning classes :D on another brighter side, I've finished all my write ups! which are only due on thursday but :P and this is even after a whole night out on friday. proud or what? :P but that just means I spent my entire saturday and sunday working #nerdalert #nolifer

realisation : I am so anal when it comes to drawing chemical structures. spent FOREVER drawing the drugs this afternoon cause they had to be perfect >< but they're all done now!

oh and tumblr is just so enlightening. it's really quite incredible.

so I had this bowl of noodles. pork noodles, to be exact. and I somehow managed to divide it into four meals. how amazing is that. £4.80/4 = £1.20 per meal. also shows that my brain is still functioning quite well. so BUDGET. less money spent on food = more money to spend on clothes and other pretty little things! *insert bimbotic expression*

ps : LION KING IN 3D, WHO WILL GO WITH ME. "but it's the same as before" "yea, but it's now in 3D, god damnit!" a little appreciation of technology's advancements please? :P

2011-10-29T17:45:00.005+01:00

afternoon was supposed to be devoted to guinea pig ileum write up. it's coming to six and all I've done is a table :x in my defense, so much to calculate! spent the rest of my time tumblring, reading and youtubing. boyce avenue in london next week! really want to go but it's on a thursday >:( askdjalsdjaljsdlaksjksjad whyyyy. I guess could consider cardiff.. but somehow london seems more 'happening' :P

12 drug combinations to analyse, JOY. why did I choose the pharmacology module, WHYYYY.

oh superb night last night! was quite reluctant to go to oceana at first but ah, for Sheena. though, turned out to be a fun night so glad I went. came home half deaf and with aching feet but definitely worth it! the cab ride home was probably the most epic one yet. six intoxicated semi-deaf girls screaming to one another about the most random stuff. and it really was quite random. like you cannot imagine. even the cab driver kept chuckling to himself. then.. Janice to cab driver : "you should get us drinks sometime" hahahha. should've seen the look on his face. all in all, a great night!

had korean food for lunch after hardcore badminton with the housemates. virgin korean experience! in the uk, that is. and we've booked tennis tomorrow! avenue campus this time. a weekend of exercise!

2011-10-29T16:16:00.003+01:00

mind over matter

2011-10-24T14:06:00.003+01:00

"and in that moment, my dog understood more about life than I did. he knew that right then, there was a moment that was happening. and I was letting it pass by. and that happens to us sometimes, we have expectations; things we want to happen. and while we're waiting for that thing to happen to us, the thing that's supposed to happen to us is happening and we're missing it and life passes us by just like that. so this song is about not letting that happen." - Rob Thomas about 'Little Wonders'

still my all-time fav

xmas present please and thank you!

http://genevievesaw.tumblr.com/post/11863306543/

2011-10-24T13:11:00.001+01:00

2011-10-22T23:48:00.003+01:00

every time I hear them say 'Westlife, for the last time', I feel a part of me die inside :'( I miss boy band days. even though boy bands were apparently from the era of the 80's babies. needless to say, despite the fact that I always picked on them for their lack of originality in terms of songs sung, Westlife was indisputably the most talented of all the boy bands. have bought my tickets to go see them! O2 arena yo ;) was so intense last night, tickets were selling faster than light! finally managed to get mine, and side by side too :D though, I have a feeling I'm gonna have exams on that day.. *fingers crossed* that I don't. but idc! must watch them, it's literally now or never!

housemates and I were having a brief fangirling session over Janice's yummy home-cooked lasagna about the many boy bands of the past. from westlife's shane to bsb's nick carter to blue's duncan james *squeal* :P

dose-response curves are looking a bit dubious, can't be bothered to look at them anymore tonight. and left my calculator in leon's room so can't be bothered to go get it either. something to worry about; halloween costume! less than a week to get it sorted :/ oh, my chick lit has arrived! bought two books this time. read then sleeeeeep!

2011-10-22T20:10:00.002+01:00

"it's so, so stupid what we do to ourselves because we're afraid"

2011-10-22T15:06:00.003+01:00

rifling this morning, that's three in the same spot! :D leon reckons I was a bounty hunter in my past life. didn't even watch the movie. but was super fun! though, our hands/arms now all ache. and omgsh, male irish accents are so cute! but of course, no one beats gerard butler ;)

leon bought this for me cause I said it was pretty :P ready for some total pwnage in virtual tennis? ;) there are now like 5/6 controllers in the house. and just had the most massive lunch since I got here. had to finish all the food that's about the expire. ooh food at the stile isn't too bad, actually. but they lack in the dessert department still. feeling quite lethargic and I only woke up <5 hours ago. I think it's just the thought of having to start my pharmacology write up -.- ughhhhh. more semilog paper and logarithmic scales, JOY. on the bright side, am (almost) completely well! sniffles here and there but on the whole, am pretty good :)

also, flight back 10th of december has been confirmed :D skipping last week of uni #fuckyeah can't wait to go home, many things await ;)

2011-10-22T01:27:00.004+01:00

got a bit bored from work and fiddled around with photoshop over a cup of tea. what do you think? :) sumc's having a t shirt designing competition, reckon it's just cause they're too lazy to design it themselves. oh how I miss my macbook's photoshop which I equipped with 8418927398127 brushes (gradually) over the years. feel so restricted having only the basic brushes now. and this tiny touchpad. but had to make do. like what I did with the carabiner and quickdraw over there? :D

finished this week's neuroscience write up hours ago, had to refrain from watching eurotrip with the housemates to finish it. such willpower I have :P was probably the toughest write up yet -.- actually felt mentally exhausted and all stressed out when I finished and it was only 11. so went up to de-stress in leon's room. we going rifling tomorrow morning! :D

I think sometimes, delusion isn't all that easy to achieve.

2011-10-21T15:11:00.004+01:00

"don't think or judge, just listen"

2011-10-21T00:16:00.003+01:00

just got back from yet another tiring but fun session of calshot climbing. arms are a little sore, but worth it! had my test today, and PASSED! can officially climb on my own now. supervisor? what's that :P examiner reckons I'm a 'belay prodigy' (if only there was a foreseeable future in that -.-) "how many times did you say you've belay-ed?" "um.. once?". to think that cashier/receptionist was all "you've only done this once and you want to take the test? *insert condescending look*" and then all "if you do pass *insert which-I-doubt-you-will look*, it's all fine and well. but if you fail, it'll forever be on our system bla bla bla". well, I showed him! thinking of buying my own climbing shoes. was so cold tonight though, apparently it's colder INSIDE calshot than outside (I don't get why -.- some sick minded person's bright idea of simulating a real mountain area maybe) and it was 2 degrees outside! TWO! imagine what it was inside, I don't even want to take a guess. but fingers were cold to the point of being numb, made it quite hard to grip the rocks. but all in all, a good night!

was streaming the ellen show earlier and reminded me of a song I used to listen to on repeat back in romero. somehow the scene that plays in my head is me walking down archers road in winter clothes and boots with snow everywhere :/ anyway, I remember listening to this song a lot on my way to and from uni at some point of last year. it's funny how songs not only bring back memories of people and places and things, but sometimes they bring me back to previous times in my life. almost as though I'm reliving them. all the same thoughts rush into my mind and it feels just like how it did back then. and I can't help but smile remembering what used to make me happy at the time :)

watched a bit of jonathan ross on telly just now, david williams was on omg, almost died. he is beyond hilarious. then seth green came on, not really a fan and his jokes were a bit crude.. but was quite entertaining too. should stop watching things and start doing work >< Hoffmann's reflex today, got to stick electrodes into random guys and electrocute them heh heh heh, and apparently girls have too much subcutaneous fat that it's harder to find their popliteal nerves. what a generalisation!

SLEEPY. will do write up tomorrow :P after pharmacology prac, yay..

and at the end of the day, perfection is a matter of perspective

2011-10-19T16:28:00.002+01:00

LOST ALL MY CONTACTS

ASKDJKLDJAKLSDJLKSADJKLSAJDKSJALD

FML

on the (very slightly) brighter side, some contacts are better lost

like Janice said : "time to get new ones!" hahaha

SIGH, approximately 5.12938 minutes ago I was all wtf that I lost all my 5k+ photos on my phone. now I can't decide which is worse :/ photos mean the world to me >< but like above, some photos are better off gone. and that's why all things memorable should be posted on instagram from back up purposes regardless as to whether or not they're camwhore-worthy. photos.. contacts.. I think I'd rather lose contacts -.- which can be retrieved with time. photos, the memories! can never be replaced :'( omg, I'm making this worse.. sighhhhhhhhh will now begin manually restoring everything else on my phone. including apps. have already gotten back the essentials; facebook, whatsapp, twitter, foursquare, instagram, etc. for some reason I can't seem to get back my line app. the 'new whatsapp' so they say. though, clearly this claim hasn't been circulated enough, if at all.

gonna go drown in my sorrows now..

2011-10-19T14:17:00.000+01:00

and I have so many things to tell you

but I can't

2011-10-18T10:11:00.004+01:00

am well exhausted from trying to figure out semilog graphs, exponentials and logarithmic scales. should be reading my biochemistry notes now but I really cba >< there's something about that lecturer's voice, no one (like, seriously no one) can pay attention. it's so weird.. cause it's not really a boring module, neither is it early in the morning or at the end of a long day. but his voice.. no matter how hard I try to concentrate, I don't catch anything. and half the lecture hall is always asleep in his lectures, which may not sound unusual but really, it is. my course is full of hard-working forever-alert nerds, it's quite intimidating.. -.- but really. so slappable. and after his lectures I always here murmurs about how that was the most boring lecture ever or how hard it was to stay awake and well.. you get the point. it's like a spell..... :P

it's funny though, when you know someone to the point that you know what they mean and what they don't mean in their every sentence. you can differentiate the real truth from what they pretend to be true. it kinda sets you apart from the rest of the world. anyone else hearing the exact same words from the exact same person would interpret it differently. but not you, you know this person well enough. too well, in fact. you can almost guess his/her response before even getting one. and when he/she does respond, your mind automatically plays it out in your head almost as if it were deja vu. the tone of voice it would have been had it been said out loud, the gestures that would've accompanied it, that sarcastic tinge like no other, you know it all. but I guess that's what happens. when people get really close, to the point of being predictable. and predictability in this case isn't necessarily a bad thing. but it isn't always good either. some people make the most of this predictability, they know what should be said and done to bring about the best situations. others take it for granted, and get bored. I guess in most cases, the latter predominates. but the point is, isn't it amazing just how much you can get to know people.

signed up for calshot this week again :D but thursday this time. which is great cause can go orchestra tonight. am so lazy and it's getting really cold and I'm tired from waking up at 730 anddddd, I'm sick :( feel like staying in but I know I really must force myself to go ><

idk why I just rewatched LMFAO's sexy and I know it video after it scarred me for weeks >< probably cause youtube 'recommended' it to me. also probably cause my friend posted an alternate video of it on my wall. but yet again, *insert horrified face*

and omgsh, skydiving looks so exciting! can't waitttttttttt. rifling tomorrow!

2011-10-16T13:57:00.005+01:00

spent the whole day (pretty much, if you exclude making lunch and watching some random cantonese drama with leon) doing my biochem write up. guinea pig ileums, yuck. since when do dry practicals take longer than wet ones! it's a conspiracy.

strangest thing ever. woke up with it playing in my head (and I didn't even recognise it at first. like.. what is this that's on constant replay in my head). then after a few minutes I realised what is was. and how strange it was cause I had only listened to it once before coming to a decision that I didn't like it. and that was almost two weeks ago, never again after that. and then I came across it online. and then I heard it playing in the room next to mine. whutttttttttt?! is God trying to tell me something..

I can be so unintentionally mean sometimes >< also cause I tend to be quite easily annoyed and impatient (hence my detestation for kids), but I think it was right thing to do. or rather, the right thing to be doing still. people should know what ought to be known. don't want any false hope here now do we :/ but still feel bad. as mean as I am, I'm not quite inhumane >< funny how I overlooked it all before though. so unexpected. and slightly awkward at the same time.. but there's definitely a change now. I guess we're all aware of the message I'm trying to convey. which is good! just wish it didn't have to be so harsh :/ and now I'm like the bad guy (girl) :x

pharmacology write up, I WILL finish you by tonight.

btw, joe brooks' 'current location' is southampton, UK.. *wink wink* soton isn't thaaaaat big is it. I'm sure he has to go to town eventuallyyyy.

and T, why you so good looking. cannot wait :)

2011-10-16T11:21:00.003+01:00

when I pictured myself, it was always like just an outline in a colouring book with the inside not yet completed. all the standard features were there but the colours, the zigzags, the plaids, the bits and pieces that made up me weren't yet in place. I was still waiting.

2011-10-15T16:07:00.004+01:00

getting so lazy to blog :P sigh. and am SICK. thanks to janice + nick + gavin. should've figured sitting between three sick people during lectures would eventually lead to me catching it too :( this is so unlike me but, I've been taking tonnes of random meds. you should take a look at my desk now, pills and bottles of medicine everywhere! though, been very careful not to overdose on anything. you know what they say, the only difference between a poison and a remedy is the dosage. had caribbean food last night. was quite good, albeit big. had some drinks too. yummy on the whole! dessert didn't sound very appetising so we went over to subway for cookies (cause nothing beats subway cookies ;) except maybe good creme brulee..) but they were fresh out! so fine, had to catch a movie anyway. went home after for virtual tennis with leon, sheena, yen and xinquan till 3am. 3AM! my immune system is hating me for that. but it was worth it. my run-up-to-net-and-smash tactic never fails me ;) though, have realised that I don't really like being murray as much as I thought. hadn't realised how many hours flew by just like that. it was supposed to be a 'lose one game = drink' but that kinda died off after a while as we had to pause the game too often. was getting a bit tedious.

also, watched johnny english. like, finally. after failing so many times back in penang. not realy worth the hype. but okay nonetheless.

tonight we going cowherds! first housey dinner together. so strange that we went out for meals together more often when we lived separately :/ anyway also cause meryl's leaving tomorrow/day after. so thought we'd take her for some good (?) proper food. denny wants to go camwhore at the commons first. I have a pharmacology write-up and a biochemistry write-up I was gonna do today but have been too sick to do anything :( feel so unproductive. tomorrow : badminton 10-12, tennis 1-3. hardcore much? ;) and supposedly ikea, need standing lamp!

but for now, guinea pig ileum, here I come!

2011-10-12T17:44:00.003+01:00

"music is a total constant. that's why we have such a strong visceral connection to it, you know? because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. no matter what else has changed in the world, that one song always stays the same, just like that moment. which is a pretty amazing thing when you really think about it."

2011-10-12T17:25:00.007+01:00

really like david guetta and usher's without you. listened to it right before I left for england and thought it sounded a bit slow. but listening to it last night at calshot somehow made me change my mind. and now it's on replay ;) plus the video's quite cool :) and despite my hatred for jason chen, I think he did a pretty decent cover for this one. the more screamy parts were a bit cringe-worthy. but otherwise :D

speaking of songs and music, since I haven't had much time to replenish my 2000 songs since I've switched over. so this laptop now has.. 26 songs, yay!

I think my taste in music is evolving.. all part of growing up! :P

2011-10-12T17:13:00.002+01:00

mail from mum :) the bobby pins I didn't have time to get before leaving. and a cat bookmark which will come in pretty handy considering I've been using my tim burton exhibition ticket as a bookmark. it's almost as if mother has sixth sense all the time. I miss her. can't wait till dec :) < 2 months to go! (hopefully)

2011-10-12T16:29:00.006+01:00

just back from town with the housemates. gotta love how U1A stops right outside our house. don't have to think twice about buying heavy stuff. and no need to wait for U2B/walk to civic centre bus stop. can just get U1A right outside asda every 10 minutes. if this doesn't scream contentment, idk what does :P leon's making sieu yoke (bak) tonight! I'm really starting to love the cantonese language. really comes in handy sometimes ;) speaking of which, the other night I fell asleep to the sound of leon talking on the phone in cantonese and ended up dreaming of my mum speaking to me in cantonese in berlin's hahahhaa such an epic dream that was.

rock climbing last night was so much fun! initially, we were considering just going every other week cause it clashes with orchestra and hip hop. but after last night, kinda want to go every week >< hehe. and omgsh, NPH and david guetta doppelgangers omgomgomg haha. and not to mention the most omgwtfbbqsauce one. which, for obvious reasons, I can't reveal here :x but omg, you guys should see him. we couldn't contain our laughter x) and weirdest part of the night; nph doppelganger asked if i yune and I were sisters :/ and then he asked if we've lived here for quite a while cause we had 'good accents'. THEN, he said we sounded american -.- like, really..? do we abuse the english language that badly? :P but anyway, learned to belay. am quite familiar with the knots already and what goes where. so much fun! denny and yen might come along next week :D ooh, and we've signed up for rifling, heh heh. trial shooting next wednesday. so excited! and tennis this sunday is a MUST. i yune, leon and I have decided. mustmustmust go this year! sheena and denny might come too. we so happening this year ;)

scribble social tonight! am quite excited :D got our tees from town just now.

2011-10-09T09:19:00.005+01:00

my whole left arm is in pain :(((( that's how much shopping I did. and this is even after denny offered to carry some of it >< how to camwhore today?! anyway, can't wait to see my lovelies! even though I'm supposed to be at tennis tryouts in three hours :/ plus, attempt to find me a pair of proper blue jeans remains futile, I'd still always subconsciously gravitate towards black and grey ones even though ALL my jeans are black or grey as it is. innate predisposition! also, I can never seem to find the RIGHT blue. jeans are so subjective :P

2011-10-08T12:17:00.002+01:00

damage done : £352.40 >< maybe should've gone badminton instead :P london tomorrow! cannot wait! gotta start wearing covered up clothing, ugh. hatehatehate the weather atm. and worst part is, it's just gonna get colder..

CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS

didn't like it for ages, but now somehow I do ;)

I've recently realised (over a couple of months) that I have an inexplicable fascination for sparkler photos. there's something just so magical about them! heh. well magical or not, I'd like to try taking them one day. first, need sparklers :P

watching unknown with the housemates tonight :) liam neeson D:

2011-10-07T14:10:00.000+01:00

my what-was-supposed-to-be-short-and-innocuous dinner break turned out to be a little longer than I initially planned >< ended up playing virtual tennis with leon. we pwned boris becker #fuckyeah albeit virtually :P nonetheless, we beat his old-fashioned shorts. now back to my neuroscience write up.. whole afternoon of neuroscience in the lab and a whole night ahead of it still. and apparently tomorrow morning's lecture is on action potentials too, JOY.

have managed to lose 1.6kg in 48 hours from eating oats and nothing but oats :P #doublefuckyeah call me extreme but hey, it works ;) though, ate 4 times today and am feeling quite bleh about it. in some ways, am glad winter's coming. cold weather = generate more heat = use more energy = burn more fat ;) *fist pump*

edit at 11.49pm : SO SLEEPY, omg. trying to finish my neuroscience write up that's only due in a week's time. always such an overachiever when it comes to deadlines -.- also cause pharmacology lab tomorrow = another write up to do. and busy busy weekend coming up, so much traveling! and fun (hopefully) so trying to finish everything asap >< and back hurts for some reason, massage anyone? ;) about 10% left but my brain is beginning to fail me.. rheobase, chronaxie, conduction velocity, refractory periods, whaaaatttt >< sleep now..

2011-10-06T13:17:00.000+01:00

this is what I'll be devoting my entire night to

what it is? a drug

what exactly it is? I have yet to find out..

movie night with housemates! super fun :D white chicks for the 912317230973th time and it still cracks me up. nothing like proper good humour. homemade risotto with mushrooms and spinach, calamari rings with jap mayo, (fake) crab claws, cheese layered salad, YUM. plus leon's pork rib soup, DOUBLE YUM. a break in my oat diet but hey, it was worth it :) have expanded my diet to fruits and veg now too :P emptied tesco's salad and ready-cut fruit sections just now, teehee. and I found cinnamon flavoured quaker oats! super yum! tomorrow : portsmouth or badminton with the boys, hmm. decisions decisions. can't wait for sunday though! :D but missing tennis tryouts >< whattodoooo

have signed up for the mountaineering trip this tuesday! so excited!

2011-10-05T18:25:00.002+01:00

every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end ;)

2011-10-05T11:58:00.000+01:00

I miss my family :')

2011-10-05T04:32:00.003+01:00

finally finished watching friends with benefits last night, so aww-worthy :') "cause you wanted your life to be like a movie" awwwww. have always thought flash mobs were quite cool. to be in one : bliss. no classes today! gonna watch the change up (ryan reynolds! *swoon*) and crazy stupid love (sounds a bit dubious and I hate steve carell but meh). tis so gloomy outside >< dislike.

edit at 5:25pm I ended up watching half of both movies and lost all will to continue.. ADD's taking its toll >< SUMC presentation tonight! and first neuroscience lab tomorrow, ugh. spent all afternoon going through folders for both neuroscience and biochemistry and then emails on sussed, which times out every4.2983127 minutes, and spreadsheets on excel trying to figure out why there was no prelab in the action potential folder. then the boys came up with a brilliant-beyond-brilliant idea; email the course coordinator! now why didn't I think of that, JOY -.- so then she replies saying there is no prelab, ugh. but on the bright side, there's no prelab! despite all those hours wasted. I just hope they let me eviscerate something tomorrow.. *collapses on bed*

the socially inept will always (and forever) continue to puzzle me :S

on another note, it's all coming together! :) the tv arrived this morning 47" or 49", I can't remember and neither can I be bothered to. and internet is also up. only problem is some people are just so untidy, sigh. I mean I'm not an extremely tidy person, I admit. but here, I just get all fidgety looking at the mess people leave around. THAT'S how untidy they are. contact lenses in the kitchen, really? -.- people seem to like to store things everywhere but in their own rooms. spent part of my afternoon tidying up the kitchen and outside. goddd, since when have I become this anal >< Janice and I even attempted to open the attic so as to open up more storage space for those who are unable to keep their things within their own personal premises. but then she started going on about ju-on and even I, who have never watched any of that, got quite freaked out :P operation attic : futile. but overall, despite the mess, I'm actually quite glad we're chose to stay in a house :) so much more privacy from the outside world. and a newer place too, no old carpets that have probably soaked up idk what since the halls were built. and LONG-LASTING HOT WATER, omg. REJOICE. plus, furniture so pretty! and so cosyyyy, mmmm :} and in a way, it makes us all more responsible and considerate too. plus, the bus stops like 5 steps from our front gate, hehe.

was discussing 'langhorn' with the 38bro earlier and I was finally able to depict what it always reminded me of :

he might come mountaineering too :D can't wait to go rock climbing again. was so much fun the other day! £40 well spent ;)

2011-10-03T12:34:00.003+01:00

said adapter is behaving itself now so shall post up some photos from sunday night taken by a leica camera (omgsh, WANT)

I have the whole house to myself now, hehe. gotta love law lectures :P esp lots and lots in a row. played iPad monopoly with chun on the plane and am now addicted (albeit slightly, I swear :P). I could sit in my room all day playing it >< I see the postman outside. hopefully he'll bring me my stuff. gotta love the front room though, get to watch people passing by but I angle my blinds such that they can't look in, or see me looking out. but at night, I want nothing to do with my windows! haha though, in contrary to the previous fear, it is true though that people are less likely to be up to no good at the front of the house, with cars passing by. or so I hope >< but I love my cream/off-white overall room colour. so french-esque!

first class on mondays at 5pm :P I LOVE MY LIFE. hahaha well for this term only. don't want labs to start >< so not looking forward to those write-ups and long hours in the lab :( but oh well. first day of uni, here I come!

2011-10-01T07:33:00.005+01:00

will be on hiatus for a while cause power adapter is making mousey noises and been/gonna be quite busy settling in and getting the house sorted. I love my room! especially after I've put my stuff up. so nice and spacious. and double bed! hehe we were up till 2 yesterday so I've gotten over my jet lag :D mountaineering taster today! and gonna join orch without quitting this year. competitive tennis? ;) quaker oats for breakfast!

oh, hello october, please be nice :)

2011-09-30T19:13:00.001+01:00

2011-09-26T18:16:00.004+01:00

OMGGGGGGGGGG, HYPERVENTILATINGGGGGG

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

edit at 12:28pm on 27th Sept 2011 : last night could not have been better :) just bought 3 months worth of bak kwa, gonna finish packing and then I'm all set to go. in many ways, I'm glad we faced our fears and did what we did last night :) this way, I don't feel like I left anything halfway or incomplete. and therefore, I can leave tonight with a peace of mind and at heart :) keep replaying the scene in my head :P and I can't stop smiling when I think about it :))))))) and years from now, I can always look back and remember that on my last night in Penang, I made it count <3

2011-09-26T03:59:00.004+01:00

it's my last night in penang :'( and worst part is, I have a feeling it won't be complete :( woke up early today, instead of the usual 12noon :P played the piano all morning, sigh. am gonna miss having a piano to play. and.. I still haven't packed :/ it says soton is 16 degrees celcius, that means I can still wear my shorts right ;) heh heh. I am dreading winter, SIGH. a friend says apparently it's gonna snow in october -.-

checked in and realised I got the bassinet seat! #fuckyeah I can kick my feet around all 13 hours, you guiseee! luck has never been more on my side :D and aisle too!

second brother went back yesterday, big brother went back today and I'll be leaving tomorrow.

but tonight ;)

2011-09-23T20:06:00.004+01:00

omgsh, talking to a friend made me realise that omggg, I only have three nights left D: the horror. pride aside, my id's desires will be fulfilled first :P and ew, ate so much at the wedding. then berlin's after. and then met up with the dinosaur after that for supper D: omgomgomgomg. definitely gonna live on granola bars once I'm back, sigh. please don't feed/cook for me you guise.

and wow, the wedding. I've always thought weddings were the most beautiful things ever. and really, they truly are. I kept tearing :') especially when they were exchanging vows! omgshhhh :''')))) it's like for a second you actually believe that true love and all that jazz actually does exist. and then you realise.. so do divorces. for the hopeless romantic I am inside, I'm such a cynic aren't I :P cutest thing ever, you gotta read it :')

"I will love you not only for who you are but also who I am when I'm with you, you make me feel like being a better person for you, my family and the people around me. I promise to continue taking care of you from this moment on and to make you feel like the luckiest girl alive, from the moment you wake up till the moment you close those big brown eyes. as I give you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep. I believe that our love is strong enough to last through the tides and old fashioned enough to last forever."

2011-09-23T09:44:00.003+01:00

so full from lunch and dessert, sigh. gaining back all the weight I lost over summer :( but 4 days left. melvin's wedding to attend tonight. three-night long wedding! in the most posh places in penang. apparently the third and final night's gonna be at this hugeeeee ballroom in straits quay cause it can accommodate more people than equatorial. equatorial! does it get any bigger than that?! but still it's gonna take up my weekend nights, sob sob. but there's always later in the night after the ceremonies ;) mother pointed out that third night is at straits quay therefore.. BERLIN'S AHAHHA YESSSS *fist pump* also, she says it's a must for us to go cause apparently for these big weddings, the children are usually not invited. so since we are = must go -.- also, have successfully changed my pen-sin flight to 915! three extra hours in glorious penang. oh and spore airlines just called 20 seconds ago saying I have 10kg extra baggage allowance! :D that's 10kg extra bak kwa to bring back ;) oh and chun tee's changed his flight to the 27th too :D just got our bookings linked this afternoon, fun fun fun!

oh yesterday marks the first bake fail ever :( so I'm always making my own recipes right.. based on hours of studying other recipes and theories, I change this and that. a little more of this a a little less of that to come up with the best cupcakes, muffins, brownies, macaroons, etc. but yesterday (do take into account that I had just woken up and had a sudden urge to bake brownies) so I studied the recipes and techniques etc. for a while. all along I've been team fudgy and not cakey so in my recipe I reduced the amount of flour so as to less cake-ify my brownies. but having just woken up from a nap and feeling all disorientated still, I reduced it by a bit too much. and somehow I didn't realise how ridiculously little I had reduced it to even while baking. and then, as you'd expect, it wouldn't even set :( it was just this big gooey blob. so I had to take it out and put it in the fridge (the secret to perfect brownies; half baking it and then letting it harden in the fridge) to try to save it. but :(((( though, on the bright side, it tasted really good! 100% positive feedback on the taste. if only they were a little more shapely..

anyway got to go get ready for wedding night #1! get to dress up, yay :D and get to see men dressed more decently too (for a change). sigh, when will the male gender realise that baggy tees, sloppy three quarter pants/boardshorts and slippers is not the way after 18!

2011-09-21T20:15:00.001+01:00

another epiphany just now. and of all times too :P but a good one. though, possibly will make life tougher.. :( but hopefully it will be worthwhile :) I find it's all in the structure, the surface, the coating, among many other things. also, I've realised as of late, I tend to judge people based on the shoes they wear :P when I feel I can't quite read a person, I look down at their feet. and it says a lot. so wear proper shoes you guise! :P speaking of shoes, my feet officially hate me :( as if two days of walking in bangkok wasn't bad enough, I tortured my poor soles with heels tonight. hobbled through my garden into my house with much difficulty and heels in hand.

funny how I thought this song would always remind me of someone. but then I realised, I'd always had someone else in mind. so now whenever it plays I think of someone #2. and every time I listen to it, it brings me back to that place, that specific table, with the mist fan blowing, my favourite drink on the table and most importantly, with you there. and the best part is, many more of these to come :)

dinner tomorrow night with one of my favourite people! well, hopefully two ;)

went grocery shopping with mum this afternoon for UK supplies :P reckon I'll be very well 'equipped' this time round. also, deluding myself into thinking the weather will be warm enough to not have to resort to jeans everyday D: #thingsidread

anyway, so sleepy. have had early nights for the past 3 days. am no longer used to this :P less than a week left here :( feels like summer just flew by. ooh, dad says I can go buy my american shorthair! hehe #daddysgirl but I don't think I will :/ no point if I'm not gonna be around. who's gonna cuddle it everyday/night and spoil it rotten?! mum says to look for one when I'm back next summer. but so long from now :( sob sob. life is unfair. should just go to.. PMC or some shizzzz :P

2011-09-21T07:20:00.000+01:00

2011-09-21T05:51:00.000+01:00

don't look and wait

amazing things happen when you least expect them

and that's what makes life all the more magical

2011-09-20T17:04:00.003+01:00

MAJOR WANT : Cartier's Love Bracelet (in rose gold ;)

basically it comes with a screwdriver, which you need to wear the bracelet/take it off. so the guy keeps the screwdriver therefore bracelet is stuck on girl so as to show others she is 'owned'. like the lock and key concept! or well, in more unromantic terms.. chastity belts, etc.. can read about it here, really like the concept! and the diamonds, heh heh.

2011-09-20T16:42:00.000+01:00

2011-09-20T16:22:00.004+01:00

BACK in penang. it always feels so good to be home :) even though I was in this very spot yesterday morning :P had a superb time in Bangkok with mum. though, my feet hurt from all the walking and the food.. omg. I think I've regained the 6kg I lost over summer. or more >< I've fallen in love with thai food all over again :P so yummy! and so cheap too. bought some pretty shorts. and then realised : I've been buying lots of crop tops/tank tops/shorts/skirts/summer clothes in general for the past few weeks. but I only have one week left to wear them :/ and then another 3 in december. and what if by next summer they're no longer in fashion D: sigh #fashioncrisis

but on the whole, it was perfect :) I never run out of things to talk to mum about somehow. she said even when I was 4 or 5, every time we went to England, I'd talk to her for 12 hours straight so she could never sleep the whole way :P spent the flight back listening to her tell me about stories of when I was young and all the fun times we had in England. also got to see Karen's place (finally!) and play with her 4 cats. ah, I am so feline deprived, sigh. her thai maid cooked us more thai food! and her house is so pretty! so eccentric, you could say. she's got antique furniture imported from all over the world. makes a nice combination overall.

in life, I realise over and over again that mother is so selfless :')

2011-09-18T15:19:00.000+01:00

2011-09-18T14:22:00.002+01:00

but wasn't that always the way. it's never something huge that changes everything, but instead the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you're busy focusing on the bigger picture.

2011-09-18T14:21:00.003+01:00

ah, tis quite calming to be home actually. and what an afternoon of enlightenment that was. laughed till I teared. thinking about it now still makes me chuckle. ah, grammar. or the lack of it :P but it's good to know :) so relieved. good timing too as I'm leaving next week. let's hope nothing changes in the next 9 days.

mother let me drive her new car for the first time ever! even before second bro, heh heh ;) though, E>C still for me. speaking of second bro, I had 3/4 of a bowl of wan tan mee and he had 3. THREE! where does it all go to?! that stick-like incinerator :P life is unfair..

bangkok in less than 12 hours!

2011-09-18T08:10:00.000+01:00

one last attempt at macaroon making sometime soon? ;)

2011-09-18T08:09:00.000+01:00

2011-09-18T07:35:00.007+01:00

really wanted that american shorthair tabby :( but sigh, uni beckons. dad said no one to look after it after I leave :((((( but it was the cutest thing ever! got to cuddle it today. so softtttt. and it kept purring :} dad's considering a husky. so pretty the face markings! and the blue eyes. though we'd probably end up with labrador huskies in time to come :P

mother is mad cause I'm "out late every single night", sigh. just cause second brother has no social life and is home 24/7, I guess it makes the contrast all the more apparent. but omgsh, nelly HAHA the coincidences are bewildering! yet another intellectual being. I've realised I really like talking to people with intellect. and omg, his analogies on the matter. makes you go "now, why didn't I think of that!". absolute GENIUS. 'due diligence' ;) so smart to draw conclusions too. oh and SAVOURING, OMG. who thinks of these things?! hahahah suffice to say, glad it all happened. once again, the unexpected things in life will always be the most memorable.

bangkok tomorrow! for less than 48 hours hahahaha

no time to lunch with hui ern before she goes back to the uk :( everyone is leaving this week, I wonder who's gonna be around for my 'farewell'.. haha SIGH. even the people going to local unis have left. quiet night home tonight :P but come wednesday night.....

I can't believe I've been home for 3 months! time does fly. and mm, something I wouldn't do unless absolutely necessary. and even then, with great reluctance.

2011-09-17T05:19:00.002+01:00

every night with you is a night well spent.

2011-09-16T19:13:00.000+01:00

2011-09-16T19:02:00.000+01:00

healy mac's was a let down.. in more areas than one :P as you can see I'm home on a friday night by 2. but a good experience nonetheless. much older crowd. though, no matter what/where, I'll always end up going back to the same ol' trusty place. me and my hatred for change. and also, my liking towards other things.. ;)

I've come to realise.. I have so many guy friends who are 26. almost like it's a SIGN. haha nah, but really, why 26. no 27's no 25's. but so many 26. then some say it's cause my brother is 26. but they're not his friends, so cannot be. then there's this other thing whereby they all think (after conversing for some time) that I'm the same age as them. when lo and behold, I'm six years younger.. ozzy claims it's cause of that 'women mature faster than men' thing. therefore we're at par, same level of maturity at 20 and 26 for women and men respectively. others say it's cause I'm close to my big brother so I get along with his age group. though, if you ask me, I think (most of) big brother's friends are really immature.. :x don't tell him! >< mother thinks so too :P I mean I know I mentioned earlier that it's good to be able to be childish and immature too and not just be all solemn and serious all the time. but with these people, I don't think there's another more mature side of them :P and then the other other thing is that apparently I have a really 'youthful' face. like I just graduated from high school. so based on all this.. first impression : I'm a 26 year old stuck behind a 17 year old's face. naice..

so tempted. SO SO tempted. but I refrained! so as to ensure the novelty doesn't wear off. but I hate the pattern I'm unintentionally creating :P almost as if it's all planned when really, in all honesty, it's not. and goshhh, I'm beginning to get disturbed by my association skills. I know I've been doing it since high school but really D:

and BBT! just watched the season 5 premiere promo. cannot wait! all summer I have waited for nothing more than I have for BBT! out in exactly a week from today :D

2011-09-16T10:22:00.005+01:00

nice cloudy afternoon so family decided to go out into the garden to chill. mother starts to weed. brother starts to help. I try to be productive for a change, so I grab the garden rake. in doing so, a lizard on it lands on my wrist and wriggles about.. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

NEVER AGAIN.

I can still feel its wriggly soft body on my wrist, ugh. have been sanitising it repeatedly.

so grossed out.. I'm gonna go curl my hair for tonight now to get my mind of it.. yuckssssss

2011-09-16T08:55:00.004+01:00

just cut my fringe! so refreshing. not sure if that's the right word, but I do feel somewhat refreshed now :P I was thinking, I envy people who can set aside their pride for something they really want. I don't think I could ever do that. no matter how much I wanted something. my pride and dignity would always stand in the way. but sometimes, it's probably better this way too. once again, SUBJECTIVE :P

I'm actually quite lazy to go bangkok haha sighhh, oh how I dread traveling. but I do want to shop. someone please invent a teleporting device ASAP. also, weekend nights are precious. heh ;)

2011-09-16T08:54:00.000+01:00

2011-09-16T08:47:00.001+01:00

you're always there, you're everywhere
but right now I wish you were here

2011-09-16T05:47:00.002+01:00

sigh, more and more reasons to want to stay in penang now :( last night was a realisation. a fun one at that. all the 'cey's :P spoilt for choice. and realising that penang is (and will always be) the best place on the face of the earth. also, happy malaysia day! so good to be home and not have to wake up at such an ungodly hour anymore. well, until uni starts.

still, T >>>>>> S :P

gonna lunch now with family. gotta love public holidays :) tonight we're gonna try another ;)